12 Months Until You're Married...

Over the course of the next few posts, we're going to be looking at a timeline of wedding planning. It goes without saying that this can be a very stressful time: the planning, preparing and the paying for. It's important to start as soon as you're able to. We're breaking down a timetable from 12 months right down to the day before. Don't feel like you have to stick to a list, but sometimes being aware of timings can help you to prioritize, and then organise, without running into trouble later on.

• Firstly, you need to set out a budget and promise to stick to it. With the average cost of a wedding now at around £17,000, it's all too easy to overspend. Nobody is saying that you can't have nice things, just be sure that you don't end up broke because you couldn't say no to the bells and whistles.

• Decide what type of visual theme you'll have: traditional? religious? outdoor? themed? If you're not sure, then bridal magazines, Pintrest and websites can be a huge help. Having even the most general of ideas will provide a range of options that can be whittled down and, at the very least, tell you what you don't want.

• Compile a mock guest list to have a rough idea of numbers. This will help when you start choosing venues; there's no point having a guest list of 100 if there's only space for half that. 

• Most importantly at this stage is finding a venue and booking it. The sooner you have that part done, the easier everything else should be. Of course, it's not a race but when you find your perfect venue, secure it on the date you want before someone else does.

• Once the venue is booked, send out the save-the-date cards. Business cards are perfect for this as they're cheap, effective and easy to hand out. Protecting your date should ensure that you don't have any nasty surprises once the invites go out. This also takes the pressure of having to get the invitations out months in advance.

• Start thinking about the bridesmaids, the ushers and the best man. The sooner you decide on who to pick, the more people you'll have to help you out.
  
  Of course, these are just guidelines. Some people will be incredibly organised and some will prefer to leave things closer to the date: whatever works for you is fine.

Just know that the day will be here sooner than you think. 

Image by perfectska04, GNOME icon artists [GPL (http://www.gnu.org/licenses/gpl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

How to Make Small Talk at a Wedding

We've all been there, haven't we? 

You're at a wedding and there's either no plus-one, or you don't have anyone to take.

So, you turn up and smile.

Perhaps you already know a few people and can have a conversation and a joke with them. 

It isn't so bad, is it? 

There you all are, laughing away as you read the place settings only to find out that they're all together and you? You're...

Aw, hell. 

You don't know a single person on this table. 

Oh, but THANK THE STARS because there's wine!

Alcohol can be an amazing conversation facilitator, but I'm not proposing that we all develop a drinking problem.

 I'm just saying that it can help but that doesn't mean that it's the answer.  At some weddings alcohol is the only answer.  

So, in the pursuit of finding a better way to communicate during awkward social functions we're presenting 8 tips to see you through the reception. 

1. Above absolutely all else, make sure that you introduce yourself. If you're sitting down last, then make eye contact with at least two people and sweep the table with a glance as you take your seat. Say hello to everyone and tell them your name. If you're not introduced, and just take your seat quietly, it will be so much harder to break into a conversation. People will find it easier to ignore you because they don't know you.
   
   
2. Discuss any shared experiences you've all had during the day. Even if it's just an off-the-cuff comment to the guest beside you. Something along the lines of "Didn't the bride look lovely" or "What a lovely ceremony" are perfectly acceptable. The important thing is signalling to everyone around the table that you're there and open to conversation.
   
   
3. When people reply to your questions, it's important to listen to the reply and draw them out further. This is how you keep a conversation going. Most people enjoy talking about themselves and if you lead them, they will fill in any awkward silences. When someone asks you a question, you can also return it to them: if they asked how you know the bride, then, when you've replied, ask them the same thing. It isn't about stringing out meaningless conversation all day, but about establishing an early rapport that will come in handy later.
   
   
4. If you're short on topics, then talk about the weather. We're blessed in the UK by this conversational centerpiece. Okay, it's not groundbreaking, but it'll do in an emergency prolonged silence.
   
   
5. Don't be tempted to use your phone during dead moments. We're probably all guilty of this, but it's a real barrier to getting back into a conversation. Keep your head up, smile and try to find an opening in the conversation.
   
   
6. There's the possibility that nobody will be speaking at all. That's fine, there's no need to force small-talk out through gritted teeth. As long as you've been polite and introduced yourself, you're conscience is clean. Receptions are, fortunately, bloated out with speeches, announcements and food. Use these moments to break up the boredom and then make a dash to the more social circles once the evening starts.
   
   
7. Don't panic if you've forgotten someone's name as they'll probably have forgotten yours, too. If you can't remember, then ask them. If you forget after that, ask another member of the party.
   
   
8. Steer clear of political or religious conversations. Particularly, where alcohol is involved. If someone on your table is becoming a problem then try ''mislaying'' the table wine. If they continue being loud, drunk or unsociable, then don't go to the bride or groom but to another member of the bridal party. Try approaching the best man or one of the bridesmaids for help. The key thing is not to get drawn into their potential scene.

The expectation of walking into the unfamiliar will be worse than the reality. That isn't just true of wedding receptions, that's life. Once you've said hello and taken your seat, you'll probably find you'll react perfectly naturally to the situation anyway. Just remember: don't get drunk, don't be rude, don't ignore people, stay off the phone and listen when others speak to you. Avoid awkward topics and above all else: make sure you've been introduced.

If you have any wedding reception horror stories, we'd love to hear them. 

How to Register a Venue for a Marriage

So, you're getting married and you've found the perfect venue.

Hopefully, it's a venue that's already licensed to hold a marriage ceremony. If it isn't, then there is a way that you can obtain a license via your local council.

The process is relatively straightforward, but you will need to adhere to a few rules:

• You'll need to contact the local council (local to the venue that is) and ask them for a grant of approval.
  
  
• You'll need to tell them the rooms that you're intending to use within the building by sending them a plan.
  
  
• The council will then decide whether or not the venue is formal enough to deserve a licence.
  
• They'll also want to be sure that the venue will be available for other weddings, too.
  
  
• Make sure that the venue has the appropriate standard of fire, health and safety certification.
  
  
• One person should be made responsible for ensuring the above is followed through and their details will need to be given to the council.
  
  
• The venue will also need to be approved by the local registrar authority
  
  
• If approved, there can be no food or alcoholic drinks sold or consumed in the room for at least one hour prior and post-ceremony.
  
  
• Civil marriage ceremonies are prohibited from using religious music or readings.
  
  
• You'll be required to pay a fee to council and this is payable whether the venue is approved or not.
  
  

The .gov website has a rather detail document of all the rules and regulations that govern whether a venue will be approved or not. You can find it here

If the venue that you have your heart set on isn't available, then try not to worry too much. Easier said that done, but there really is a huge amount of venues that could be perfect. The wedding industry is huge and everyone is competing with everyone else: someone will be able to help. If you need some inspiration, then please check out our online wedding directory here. We can help same-sex couples, too. Click here if you're looking for a pink-friendly venue.

(Photo Credit George Burgess [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

Make Your Own Wedding Favours

Weddings rarely come cheap. Even the most fastidious of us can get carried away with the trimmings and the frills. But even when they've been skinned down to their bare bone; when the bells and whistles have been torn off, they're still potential money pits.

Keeping costs manageable isn't about scrimping. It's not about sacrificing your dream for something more cost efficient, but it is about being realistic about your budget. Often, when we impose a budget, we find ourselves at our most creative. So many weddings now are cut from the same template and the same companies do the same things week in and week out. When you take yourself to task, you can do amazing things for a fraction of the cost.

Each week, we'll find some creative ideas that are light on the budget but heavy on creativity.

Cheap Wedding Favours - small boxes filled with goodies

The moment you mention the word wedding, you're going to notice prices going up. So don't say anything or type anything into your browser to do with weddings.  Use Ebay and local art and craft shops to find small, cardboard jewelry boxes. Something along the lines of this 

Buy some ink stamps or colorful pens. Maybe some stencils or ribbons or sparkles or these, if you're feeling particularly creative. Decorate each box with the name on the table setting. 

Then fill each box with something simple, but effective. Perhaps using boiled sweets, aniseed balls, flying saucers or even small biscuits. You could also fill each box with seeds to be planted and grown; or small pots of jam or pieces of chocolate.

In fact, you can put anything you like in the boxes. It doesn't even need to be boxes; it could be small lace bags or they could be laid on the table as they are.

Flowers for a Spring Wedding

"April showers bring May flowers"

This year, winter seems to have driven right up to Spring's door. The storms that broke over the UK's coastline, the flooding and charcoal smudge days have added up to a rather miserable few months for many of us, and, now that Spring is well established, we're looking forward and hoping for better days: sunshine, beautiful sunsets and warm air evenings. 

Mother nature can't guarantee the weather, but she hasn't disappointed with some rather stunning springtime colours.. We've had bold, breathtaking and delicate blooms this year, and if you're getting married in May, you can still take advantage of them. 

• Make sure that you pick flowers that are in season.

• Tell your florist early, so that he or she can ensure supply.

• If you're on a budget, then don't be afraid of being creative. There are so many resources now - many of them free - that can help you create something stunning at a fraction of the cost. 

• Make sure that the bridal bouquet is the biggest. Use foliage to bulk it out if you're using expensive flowers.
  
  

Springtime blooms

• Ranunculus
  
• Tulips
  
• Narcissi
  
• Peonies
  
• Anemone
  
• Lily of the valley
  
• and stocks.

What spring flowers would you recommend? 

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A Wedding Costs How Much!?

By Daisy Technology
Ltd. Bulgaria (http://daisy.bg/index.php?id=135)
 [CC-BY-3.0
 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

They say that there's no such thing as a free lunch. Unless of course, you turn up to a wedding without a present and start digging into the buffet...

In the age of the consumer - for better or for worse - we pay for everything and weddings are no exception. The average price of a wedding in the UK is now an eye watering £17,853. 

Somewhere along the line we swapped simple ceremonies, small sit-down meals and our Sunday bests for photo booths, vodka fountains and garters stitched with diamonds wept from virgin mermaid eyeballs. You'll more than likely find that last one somewhere on Etsy. 

Picking a budget isn't about prescribing how much you should spend. It's about working out what you can spend. Whether that's £500,000 or £500, by being smart with your spending you can make your money go further. 

Whatever you're thinking of spending on your big day, here are out top 10 tips to help you save the pennies.

1. When you're phoning around wedding services and providers, don't tell them that you're looking to book them for a wedding. Explain your requirements and ask them for a quote. Many companies will raise their prices for weddings because they know you're more likely to pay it. If you can pin them down to a price first, then they'll be less likely to increase those prices later
   
   
2. Why get married on a Saturday? It's the most expensive day of the week, and they book up faster, too. Sunday and Fridays are quickly becoming a popular alternative, but their still cheaper. If you want the advantage however, when haggling prices, ask for a Tuesday wedding. Currently the least popular day to be married on, it's likely to be the cheapest.
   
   
3. Keep the guest list small. This means less mouths to feed, less transport to arrange, less invitations and a less spacious venue - in fact, it means less everything. You might think inviting Keith and Tammy from accounts is a nice thing to do, but don't feel like you're responsible for everyone's social life. More people does not make the wedding better. In fact, it can often have the opposite effect.
   
   
4. Source favours from family and friends. Is Aunt May an amazing cook? Uncle Pete drives a brand new BMW? Is your sister amazing with hair and beauty? Do you have some crafty friends? Home-made chic is bang on trend at the moment, and it's a great way to get people involved. Don't be exploitative however. Always ask politely and don't be pushy. Most people should be happy to help out. Just make sure that you pick reliable people
   .
5. Don't be afraid of second hand. Call it vintage chic if it makes you feel better. Oxfam have a number of bridal shops that stock wide ranges of unwanted and pre-loved dresses. Why should you be sniffy about a £70 dress that retails at £900? Nobody will know if you don't tell them.
   
   
6. The political repercussions in your group could be phenomenal, but don't feel like you have to have bridesmaids. The dresses, hair, make-up and accessories will all add up to a tidy sum. If they're real friends then they will understand. If you can't do without them, give your girls input into the dress choices and ask for them to contribute to the price or pay for the dress themselves. As long as you're not looking at custom made Versache gowns, they'll agree.
   
   
7. This might sound like an odd one, but take out wedding insurance. Then if something goes wrong, you're covered. Weddings are planned so far in advance that you run the risk of losing everything if a serious problem arises. Shop around for the best deal for you and make sure you're covered for the big items and deposits.
   
   
8.  Have your wedding ceremony and reception in the same place. Packages are invariably cheaper, and they're easier to plan for. They usually come with a wedding coordinator too, who'll look after any problems that arise during the day. You're always within staggering distance of a bed, too. Which is handy for any wedding.
   
   
9. Ditch the DJ for an Ipod. The added bonus is that you control the playlist and nobody has to sit through hi-ho silver lining and the macarana. Unless you want to, of course.
   
   
10. Finally, don't let tradition force you into spending money that you don't have. Weddings are crying out to be custom made. The important thing is that you're marrying your partner. Send your invites by Facebook; ditch the wedding favours, reuse the church flowers in your venue. It doesn't matter. The time of superstition and tradition is being eroded by common sense decisions. Make sure everything in your wedding is there because you want it to be - you'll feel better for it.
    
    

How did you budget for your wedding? How are you budgeting for it? Stop by our Twitter page and let us know.

How to Register a Wedding in the UK

Richard Webb [CC-BY-SA-2.0
 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

So, you're engaged.

Congratulations! - now the real work begins.

Weddings cause headaches. It's true. Even the smallest, most intimate of ceremonies require some degree of planning. Decisions, unfortunately, do not make themselves. Here at White Wedding Days however, we want to help take some of the pressure off. We'll be looking at all aspects of wedding planning: venues, flowers, dresses, invitations and much more.We have an online directory, too. It's free to search and you can find it here.

If you're a same-sex couple, or if you'd like to find out more about gay marriage, then please visit our sister site Pink Wedding Days here.

Today, we're looking at how to register a wedding in the UK.

If you can answer yes to these two questions, then your wedding is on.

• Over 16 years old?

• Single, divorced or widowed? 

Hold up, you're not related are you?

No?

Excellent (and thank goodness).

You'll need to give notice at your local register office, and you'll need to have been living in that district for at least 7 day previous to this.

At the register office, you'll need to prove your identity. Take your passport, birth certificate or driving licence. If you're a foreign national, you can take your identity card. Make sure you pick two forms to show the registrar. You'll also need to show a proof of address.

If you're planning a religious ceremony, then you might not need to register the marriage yourself. Often, the religion will do this for you.

Check with your venue if you're unsure.

Registering a marriage takes about 15/16 days. Both you and your partner's names will be on display to give people ample opportunity to raise a reasonable legal objection. If you are re-marrying, then remember to take your divorce certificate as proof.

It currently costs £35 to register your notice.

And that's it.

I mean, it isn't, but that's all you have to do to register. You've then got twelve months from the date of issue to have your ceremony.